Cold Biscuits

One lazy Sunday morning I strolled into a quaint new restaurant that promised big city (you know….NYC big) vibes in my small town.

I ordered a plate of bacon, eggs, grits, and a biscuit.

Imagine my surprise when the biscuit arrived COLD AND HARD…..

Shocked, and certain this was a terrible mistake, I called over my waitress.

She assured me that the biscuits were made that morning, about 3 hours prior. She would gladly put my biscuit in the microwave.

UM…..have you ever had a biscuit from the microwave? Gross. I clutched my pearls at her suggestion….then asked for the manager.

The OWNER came over and said “If you’d like warm biscuits, you need to come when we make them. Call next time and confirm they are fresh if this is a big deal to you.”

And that was that. No refund, no kind words, ZERO understanding or empathy.

**the owner wasn’t from the south and clearly not educated on proper southern biscuit etiquette**

I left there feeling unheard, misunderstood, and super confused. The owner could have handled that situation in a way that made me feel validated and cared for.

And I bet I wouldn’t be sitting here writing about it 10 years later…

Thankfully at SCIMHA we aren’t serving cold biscuits.

BUT if we did make that abhorrent mistake, we would respond differently than this restaurant owner.

In our Foundations Training, we teach our participants about the concept of “being with.”

When we are with children who are experiencing something hard or sad or even exciting, we must learn to “be with” them, let them experience their feelings, and share in the moment with them.

Maybe at an early childhood center we are with a child who is upset and crying over not getting to go to the center they wanted to.

The child’s emotions can feel uncomfortable for us and we might want to try and redirect their feelings and hurry them along in their emotional journey.

But this isn’t the best for that child. 

Try: “I can see that you’re disappointed that you didn’t get to that center. That is disappointing.”

In this moment, instead of trying to fix things, we are “being with” that child.

We are sitting in the discomfort with them, we are walking with them, but it’s not our burden to carry.

There is more to this concept as professionals. How does this affect us and what do we do with children’s burdens?

Hint: it’s not showing ZERO empathy and telling them to heat up their rock-hard biscuit in a microwave.

If you want to understand more about “being with” children, this is just part of what we teach in our Foundations Certificate Training.

If you are a professional who works with children ages 0-5, you’re invited to join us for our next Foundations cohort, starting this November.

Foundations Certificate Training is a professional development experience that creates a baseline of infant mental health knowledge among all early childhood professionals across workforce sectors in South Carolina.

The Foundations certificate is an important first step on your pathway to Endorsement.

If you have questions, email Tiffany Stenson at [email protected] or register here:

https://www.scimha.org/event-5078795

-SCIMHA

PS: If you aren’t from the south, biscuits are best fresh out of the oven. And most restaurants make biscuits often if they are serving them throughout the day.

PPS: If you MUST reheat a biscuit, here is a proper way to do so (notice that they say the microwave isn’t ideal….) https://www.tastingtable.com/775298/heres-how-you-should-be-reheating-biscuits/